Feeling The Threat

One of the concerns folks who know me have had about my career change is my personal safety. I have been cautioned and warned about being careless in a prison--especially a maximum security prison housing death row. Granted I am not always the most careful or the most surefooted, but I have tried to be wise, be alert, and always aware of my surroundings.

I have visited five prisons counting the unit on which I work. One other has been a maximum security prison which means it houses serious offenders. I have been in and out of these prisons most every day for a month, and have never felt threatened--until today.

It was surprising what happened and only after I was safe did I realize what a foolish thing I had done. It could have cost me my life.

My intentions were honorable, my heart perhaps overruling good judgment.

I had scheduled the first staff meeting of my new job. Between rarely being on the unit because of my training, two hurricanes, and sickness in the unit, my folks have been scattered for the last month. Today was the day. I planned a working lunch so that we could catch up on work but still have time to do some bonding and developing as a team. So, my idea was to bring in pizza for the Mental Health staff and treat them, starting our relationship on a hopefully upbeat note. We have lots of work to do and the work is never easy.

Doing anything is a challenge in the prison. So, I had to write a letter to the Warden asking for permission to bring boxed food to the prison. I discovered no pizza place delivered pizza out as far as the prison and we did not have a lot of choices to begin with. I moved the meeting time till later, planned to call in the huge order and go get it myself. I ordered an extra pizza to use as bribes as necessary.

It was only when I started the long walk to the front gate that I heard it. The staff camaraderie finally showed itself. The whispering was rampant, "Skip the cafeteria today, it is pretty bad." One of the perks of working in the prison is that staff can eat in the officers' cafeteria for free. Three meals a day are served and a staff person can dine breakfast, lunch, or supper. However, sadly, there are days when even being free isn't enough. Today apparently was one of those days.

So, I slipped out and brought back four large, hot, smelly pan pizzas with two boxes of cinnamon breadsticks.

I stepped in the front door and realized the danger in which I had placed myself. I was going to walk about one half mile, through six security gates during offender lunch hour with over 1900 persons going to or from the dining halls, being watched by over 150 Corrections Officers who knew not to eat in the dining hall. Yep, not one of my better days or smarter decisions.

Honestly, I wasn't worried about the offenders. It was the Corrections Officers that had that hungry, drooling look on their faces. I immediately realized I was in mortal danger.

One of the quirky features of my mind my imagination often zips to a newspaper headline detailing my demise. I remember the headlines preparing for the baptism of the morbidly obese man who was phobic of water. When he got anxious, he sweated profusely and was prone to pass out. You use your imagination. "Local pastor drowns in own baptistery." The lead line would follow, "Michael R. Chancellor, local pastor was finally pulled from the bottom of his baptistery following a baptism that took an unexpected turn. The 400 lb. candidate became anxious and passed out falling on the pastor and pinning him down in the water until he quit bubbling."

Yep, too many headlines have raced through my mind over the years.

Today it was simply but movingly sad, "Missing Pscho found buried beneath a mound of empty pizza boxes. Officers smeared in pizza sauce puzzled by events."