Same Song Third Verse

If anyone had any question about how committed the BGCT was to real change in light of the previous administration's squandering of $30,000,000.00+, they need to look no further than the recommendation that comes for filling the position of Associate Executive Director.

This "leader" was not only asleep at the wheel, but did not see anything wrong with what had gone on the previous eight years. The fact that tithes and offering given sacrificially by rank and file Baptists, was misused, misspent and misdirected, did not matter to him. He indicated to me that he was proud of what the BGCT has done on his watch.

This "leader" is also a part of the new fundamentalism demonstrated by Texas Baptist Committed in their efforts to follow in the steps of the old fundamentalism of the SBC. In fact, I found myself feeling like I had lived the Amarillo convention before. And then I remembered when it was. It was in New Orleans when the fundamentalism ran rough shod over the opposition because they controlled the chair. I remember feeling like such action violated the basic tenants of Baptist life, so I was extremely surprised when Texas Baptist Committed orchestrated the same tactics at Amarillo. Those that control the chair control the discussion of which there never is any. Later I had confirmed the budget presented, approved by the Executive Board of Directors, and later presented to the convention, was unsustainable from the beginning. The building knew it, many on the Board knew it, and many in the audience knew it, but nothing was said.

Yep, what is ahead for the BGCT? Look at the last few years and you have your answer. When those who allowed the abuse of the past to flourish now are suggested to lead the staff you know where things are going.

Tragic choice that will bear bitter fruit undermining even a faint confidence that anything in the BGCT will be different.

Second Song, partial verse

I am a man who can live for a little while with partial answers to questions I did not ask.

I did discover in my search for understanding of the $27,000,000 that slipped quietly away from Texas Baptists under the last administration several things. First, I discovered what I already knew was something I already knew. The budget we passed at our last convention was unsustainable and the administration knew it when they presented it to the Executive Board which allowed itself to be coerced and cajoled into passing it on to us. Hence some of the reasons for my motion of censure for the Executive Board which was stopped by a parliamentary trick by a board member of the Free and Faithful Baptists of Texas (Texas Baptist Committed). Their battle cry has been, "Baptists have been free to discuss and decide." What I have learned over the past year is that just like the fundamentalists, they decide what is discussed and when it is discussed--if ever" Which, in my beady little mind make them another kind of spiritual tyranny I don't much care for. Spiritual tyranny is spiritual tyranny no matter what the flavor. In Texas, we don't have the Page Patterson kind, we have the TBC kind. I don't much care for either.

I also learned what I most feared and that was another causality of the last administration was a rather robust Minister's Counseling program. During the previous administration, ministry families were helped in great and small ways. Families in crisis found assistance for counseling. Terminated ministry families found help for moving and insurance and just basic needs when such a tragedy befell them.

I knew that the ministry was shrinking because I followed their budget allocation as best I could. The shell game made that somewhat daunting, but I tried. When the BGCT finally terminated the couple in that area, the broad, robust ministry was down to one couple in Dallas available to anyone who could reach them. The list of referring counselors had not been updated in years, and the curtain came down on what once was a great help and was now a hollow shell of a sham.

So, not only was money wasted in the Valley and who knows where else (I am waiting for the report) but hurting families were ignored or worse--pushed off on sympathetic counselors who would continue to see the family after the piddling BGCT reimbursement ran out ($40 for four sessions for a yearly family total of $160).

I cannot begin to express my disgust over the mismanagement that was permitted to take place over the last few years in our convention of churches. The results of that failure to face, contain, and stop the misuse of tithes and offerings will continue to bear the most toxic of fruits for years to come. It will not just be in trust lost but ministry families destroyed because enough assistance was not available. Gone are the ministry marriage retreats, gone the terminated minister's retreat, gone the emphasis on minister's mental health, gone, all gone! And why?

The administration was too busy robbing the treasury to help anyone with anything.

Same Song, Second Verse?

A couple of months ago, I received a letter from the new CFO of the Baptist General Convention of Texas. She stressed the fiscal responsibility of the new regime.

So, I gave her time to settle in. Then I sent an e-mail to her asking for an accounting of the $27,000,000 in reserves that disappeared during the last administration. I stressed that I knew she had nothing to do with it, but certainly a paper trail could establish broad categories of where the money went.

To this day, I have had no response to my e-mail--not even a "we'll get back to you on this, thanks for writing." Nope, nothing! Nada! The address is correct, at least it is what was at the bottom of the letterhead.

So, I wonder,"Is this new administration really going to make a different in the trust level of the churches?" If they don't even acknowledge the receipt of mail, how can we move forward. At least the last administration bothered to give one the run-around. This one, nothing.

Why is this important? Well, for several reasons,actually.
First, it is important because the actual amount of misuse and fiscal irresponsibility is larger than $27,000,000. Up to $3,000,000. was wasted in the Valleygate fiasco. Now I sit on a board of trustees that is affiliated with the BGCT and I was notified last week their portion to us was dropping yet again. This time it will settle out about a little under what was wasted in the Valley. So, the point is that institutions are moving through cuts in support from the BGCT because money was misused, churches have reacted with mistrust and withholding funds and the institutions must tighten their belts. The $27,000,000 is also important because these reserves represent over half of the annual BGCT budget just flittered away.

While it did not happen on this administration's watch, they have questions to answer to help folks like me trust again.

Apparently, I am not alone. The money is not rushing in. I suggest it will not unless or until all the leadership truly demonstrate fiscal transparency by telling us where all the money went. From my point of view, even if one had little to do with the redirection and misspending of tithes and offerings from the churches, to know what happened and remain silent is to be a part of a lingering conspiracy--which will taint the BGCT for years to come.

If the current leadership waits too long, they will face the unrestrained tide of irrelevance.

The Cross-Dressing Convention

Cross-dressing is also known as transvestitism. Basically, it is a male dressing as a female for obvious reasons more obvious to some than others. My first experience with this phenomenon was a tale told by a rather bawdy uncle who enjoyed telling stories of his WW II experiences, some of which only occurred in his mind. On this one occasion, according to him, he had left a nightclub with a beautiful young woman on his arm. He hailed a cab and both got into the back seat. Quickly they began to do some lip-locking exercises when at some point Uncle discovered the person at the other end of his kisses was anatomically identical to himself. He hurriedly stopped the kissing, started the pounding, smearing the young lady's make-up and somehow ripping her dress. Both screamed and Uncle bailed from the cab deeply embarrassed.

It has crossed my mind that my convention has engaged in a bit of cross-dressing itself. In doing so, it's sole purpose has been to lure those young pastors who find denominations and conventions unattractive and undesirable into the fold.

Now the convention has done it's research. In fact, that may be where the $27,000,000.00 (yet unexplained)has gone. Somewhere in the bowels of the Baptist Building there is a priceless library saying young pastors prefer networks to conventions and denominations.

So, the BGCT dresses up like a network in order to appeal to this younger crowd.
At the same time, they have told the "over 50" crowd to "Get Lost." Like so many things, it has slipped pass the easily panicked leadership of the BGCT the "over 50" crowd has helped pay the rent for twenty to thirty years while the younger set is spreading their money among their networking friends, of which the BGCT is not one. Hence, the cross-dressing.

To believe this cross-dressing will seduce anyone is not unlike believing the fat lady in the circus can be re-billed as the "Human Zipper." 4,000+ churches and 20+ institutions is a lot to stuff in a skimpy networking dress and be the least bit believable.

But then, things have not been believable in BGCTland for a long time!

Something smells in BGCT Land Part II

When last we left our dwindling erstwhile convention, they were being challenged by their new Executive Director to reach Texas's 11 million lost persons with a simple, understandable witness, and meet the human needs within our state.

This blog explores our part in the challenge of sharing Christ with the lost in our state. Let me simply proceed along three lines: our churches; ourselves; our convention.

If we were to witness in simple ways to 11 million lost in our state, one would expect many of those persons to seek a church where they could grow up in Christ. We might have a slight problem here. Many Texas Baptist churches are not really ready for an influx of new Christians. There is space, but not room.

Too many church are not healthy enough to have new spiritual children in their midst. In fact a cynic's view of Texas Baptist Churches is that large numbers of them are either settling in a new pastor; growing discontented with the pastor they have; actively attempting to run off the resident pastor; and/or fighting amongst themselves. What a great environment in which to bring a new Christian.

Additionally, many of our churches are self-focused (hence the continuing worship wars) and really find themselves very uncomfortable with strangers. Overgrown with power structures that have been in place for years, such churches are actually hostile to outsiders. But they are being counted as resources for the challenge.

Too many pastors and ministry families are not spiritually healthy enough. We still have an unchecked stream of men and women leaving ministry because they are tired of being beat up, beat down, argued with, and generally disrespected. Add to that, personal moral failure and continuing church conflict, and these are the front line leaders we are depending on to lead the charge.

Church members are on board theoretically, but practically, most don't have the time or the will to set out to be a part of reaching either goal. Our million Baptists is quickly dwindling into a smaller and smaller group.

And then there is the State Convention. What smells in BGCT land is this grand challenge at this time. In less than three years, we are going to pray, sell, mobilize, educate and do these two great challenges. In my life as a Texas Baptist, such great challenges usually took about a year to plan, a year to get the churches ready, and a year or more to conduct the emphasis. Those were the good years when we liked each other and worked together. Those times are not now.

That is what smells. We have a big crack in our Baptist foundation and we are going to paper over it with sounding the challenge around two cherished themes (one more cherished than another): evangelism and human caring. Honestly, these are days of low trust between us and low trust between pastors, churches and the BGCT. It seems we will try anything but face this mistrust issue head on.
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In my reading of great moves of evangelism, it seems to me such efforts have always come as a result of a mighty move of God within the church--first! That makes sense. If the church is not spiritual healthy, spiritually refreshed, in love with Jesus and holy living, any disciples we would train would be two and three times as much sons/daughters of hell as we are. Thank you but I think we have enough of that. Remember "1 million more in '54". If you don't, one wit put it this way, "A million more like we got in '54 and we will be out of business."

In fact, this whole challenge thing has the cart wrong way around. The natural out flow of the inrush of the Holy Spirit into the fellowship of the church is evangelism and compassion. It has always been and shall always be. The fact is that we are more in Acts 1 than 2. We are more saturated and mired in "what's in it for us" than people with bold kingdom hearts. In fact, in the life of many Baptist churches pastors and people have hearts that are two sizes two small for the world in which we live.

So, we are we to do with this bold challenge? I would suggest we set a goal of having our churches more healthy by 2010 so that we are ready for reaching more than 11 million people with the simple gospel. We don't need to put off the second part of the great challenge. Getting one's hands dirty in the mud of human need has a way of softening the heart that pictures and videos cannot do.

Our Convention aught to lead the way with repenting and asking for forgiveness for what has happened over the last 8-10 years. Doesn't revival begin, always begin, when God's people begin to humble themselves and pray and seek the face of God and turn from our wicked ways? Then let our BGCT leaders show us up close and personal what that looks like. It can be a non-showy, sincere, model of Biblical repentance.

You see, that is what smells in BGCT land. I think we are rushing to a great work, in order to refocus our attention away from what has been left undone. To invoke the name of God to cover one's unconfessed sins borders on, if not in fact is-- presumption!

Something smells in BGCT Land Part 1

While Yisrayl Hawkins, head of the House of Yahweh religious sect in Abilene, was proclaiming the end of the world, Dr. Randel Everett was issuing a bold challenge to Baptists of the Baptist General Convention of Texas. As I understand it, by 2010, Dr. Everett wants Texas Baptists to have communicated the Gospel in a way that every person in Texas who is not a Christian (11 million) can understand. And, have reached out to assess and respond to the human suffering of those in Texas that are poor and without the basics of life.

I understand why Hawkins wants the end of the world to come, for he is most likely going to jail. The date has come and gone and we are still here. So, once again, the cult leader has been proven wrong, but still folks will look past his false prophecies and continue to follow him.

Dr. Everett's challenge is not a prophecy, just a challenge, but an interesting challenge none the less. Many have extolled the breath of this vision as being-- well visionary. But I must ask, why this, why now?

I am not opposed to either goal. As poorly as we do evangelism, our church has 6 waiting baptism--three of them Hispanic. As to goal 2, our small congregation gives thousands of dollars of food out each year through our food pantry free to those in need. In addition, through the Angel Food Network, we have assisted families across the Big Country buy affordable food for themselves and their families. Added to that, this ministry has allowed us to give away thousands of dollars worth of food to flood victims, returning soldiers, and families in crisis. Recently, we added a volunteer who has retired from the Department of Human Services after 30 years of God called service. Her responsibility is community ministries and she has come to our church for such a time as this for helping us identify and respond to social needs. Already in less than a year, thousands of dollars have been given to people for prescription medications, rent assistance, utility help, and basic life needs. Our Texas Baptist Offering for World Hunger has not only been something we contribute to, but something that comes back to us in the form of a grant to help our social ministries programs in 2009.

Why now? Why this? Crescent Heights is a transitional church. That simply means we find ourselves where hundreds of church across Texas find themselves: the neighborhood is changing and our church as we knew it is dying. Everything we have tried for the last 40 years has not worked, or worked long. The dying has been slow and frustrating. With this transitioning, has come a painful transitioning in the budget. Fewer people, fewer dollars. But you wouldn't know it by what we attempt each year. This year our frustration took a turn that has proven interesting. Following the lead of Henry Blackaby (What the Spirit is Saying to the Churches) we have divided our budget into two categories: what we think we can provide through tithes and offerings; what we need God to provide. For the first time in a long while, our budget is on track with nearly all our mission commitments honored from the first of the year. All of this by praying for God to provide His part as we provide our part.

Now, such an approach strikes me as a way of thinking about this Bold Challenge of Dr. Everett's. However, when I think in those terms, I believe Texas Baptists may be bordering on presumption.

There is no doubt that God could bring the whole state to Himself without our puny help if He so chooses. There is no doubt that Biblically, God wants all of Texas to hear about Him and come to Him. There is no doubt that God grieves whenever a child goes to bed hungry in Texas, without the basic needs of life met. There is no doubt about any of this.

I don't believe there is any reluctance on the part of God to do what God has been doing for hundreds and thousands of years. So what are my reservations?

They actually run along several lines all having to do with this paradigm of our part, God's part. I am not saying this is the only way to think about something like this, but it is a way to get a handle on such a sweeping challenge.

First, our part. We are perfectly able right now to undertake part II of this bold challenge, except for one slight problem. Many of our Baptists don't have the heart for it. Our hearts are not broken but incensed at the poor. The poor combine all the groups we don't like as God-fearing Christians: those people that don't belong here; the mentally ill; and those who won't/can't work for a living. That is why we continually elect legislators who underfund Human Services to a damnable degree every time they meet. Only when they are driven by the courts or the courts of public opinion, does change finally come, and then it is with the foot dragging and grumbling of an obstinate teenager.

O.K. let's think about our part on the First Part: sharing Christ with 11 million unbelievers in Texas. Let me phrase these in terms of challenges not obsticles.

First, there is the challenge of culture. Over 100 different languages are spoken in Texas. I believe, we have small but vital works in most of these language groups. Some of these churches are more vital and alive than the English speaking churches that gave them birth. However, at least one ethnic group is a formidable challenge for several reasons. Hispanics now comprise over 40% of the Texas population. Not all of them are limited to Spanish, but many are. Basically, we are asking our Hispanic Baptist people to reach 40% of Texas. We can throw in a token amount of Anglos who understand the language and the culture, but mostly Hispanic Baptists are on their own. While work with and by Hispanic Baptists is old, it is still weak and uneven, with not enough good leadership to go around. 40% of Texas!

This doesn't even begin to address the other cultures of which we are less familiar.

Then there is religion. Sharing Christ in an understandable way is more than just going through the words. 100 language groups means a variety of religious experiences many of which have no real experience with Scripture or the concept of sin and the Savior. Communicating Christ in an understandable way to a Buddhist, or a Muslim, is not the same as sharing Christ with someone who has never been in church. Texas is now home to the religions of the world, and the home grown cultic religions of the United States. Can God break through and bring understanding--YES! But, this has never really been about God. The work of God is never about the willingness or the ability of God. The Work of God is always a saga about the willingness and the ability of people to be obedient: obedient to the will of God to do the work of God.

So, at this point, I think, we have ever so slight a problem.

Heroes of the Week

In the Baptist Building, there are men and women who have worked through the "Middle Ages of Spiritual Darkness" that accompanied the last failed administration. Most of them showed up with the right attitude, the right spirit, never losing sight of what was really important. They are my heroes.

In every large organization one has his personal favorites--his pet causes--and I have mine. Very close to my heart is Christian Education. I guess because I was turned in the right direction by a Baptist College. While I served on the Theological Education Committee, I saw the figures that indicated that 44% of persons headed to ministry and missions across the whole SBC came through our 8 institutions. I know Dr. Bruce must had been deeply frustrated at the extravagance with which the last administration burned through money with nothing to show for it. A million here and there could have really helped a lot of our 27 institutions.

I also love the Christian Life Commission. Chronically underfunded, my personal favorites of their job description is lobbying in Austin for those who have no voice, and the Texas Baptist Offering for World Hunger. (As an aside, I can just see Governor Pretty Hair announcing his re-election bid in the middle of the ashes of the Governor's home--sort of a metaphor of what he had done to Texas.) This Commission was almost "assimilated" during the last "mis-organization." But it did survive. A few million would have really helped in this area.

And then there is the area that does not exist any more: the Minister's Counseling. The first mis-step was calling it at some point "Counseling and Psychological Services." That pretty much killed it for a lot of folks seeking help. Even at this late date, many of our conservative pastors don't believe in "psychology." Following the adage, "What can you tell a Baptist?" "Not much." Far too many pastors are still suspicious of "psychology." Anyone really competent in working with ministry families in Texas would have known that! Things sort of went downhill from there, and now we are at the point of "outsourcing" this service.

I have this running conversation in my mind about that:
The phone rings in Calcutta and is answered by "Ben," which is short for Bensharaninisishahistan. At the other end is a distraught pastor who is turning to his state convention for help. Ben speaks in that nice, clipped, British, English accent that we have come to recognize as the sound of "outsourcing."

"Ben, I need help, my wife has just left me. . " To which he is cut off.
"Sorry, John, I am not equipped to help you but give me your zip code and I shall give you great help!"

"Well, my zip code is *****."
"Sorry, John, no counselor in your area. John, I can offer you one other option. John, Kit Kat bar has great bartender good listener. John, instructions say come between 2 and 4, sit at dark end of the bar. John, ask for a large Coke Light with a shot of Ginger Ale. This drink is horrible and will tell who you are. John,you can tell your problems to him. John, park in back. If listening doesn't help, John, he will switch you over to Vodka and see that you are dumped in front of your house. Your car will be hauled away and windows smashed to give evidence for your story of being kidnapped by aliens. Do you understand, John? Call back if you need more help, John. My name is Ben and I have enjoyed serving you today."

Doesn't that just make you feel warm and fuzzy all over?

Baptist Building employees, know that you are loved and appreciated and that perhaps what lies ahead will be better than the darkness through which you have moved. You are true survivors--and I don't use that word lightly.

The BGCT and the worm in the Apple

There is a worm in the apple from yesterday's post.

This money did not start out as our money. It was God's money. The misuse of God's money is called "robbing God." (Malachi 3:8)

I find, for me, at least two times in Scripture that parallel our times in the BGCT.

The most obvious time is the time of Nehemiah who came to be given an awesome task. Years of petty infighting, enemies outside and within, and weak leadership had left the remnant paralyzed and defeated sitting on the very land that a once great city and temple had stood. While conventions are not mentioned in the Bible, they could be see as a quasi-nation. Called into existence for the purpose of glorifying God, and doing His work at home and around the world. God as Sovereign, Scripture as truth being our guide, we join together for this great task. What happens when a convention, once great, having lost its way, sits in the rubble of the past?

The second time was the time of Josiah (II Kings 22) Again, years of bad leadership had taken its toll. The very nation whose existence was for the praise and glory of God had so lost its way it was like all the other nations around it--only worse. How could they be worse? Surely they were not as brutal, as corrupt, as heathen as the nations that surrounded and conquered them? Yet, they were worse because the nations around them were doing exactly what they committed to do. Judah did not. She was rotten to the core. And then Josiah found the scrolls of the law.

What do these incidents have to do with the BGCT? Before we can ask for one another's forgiveness, we have to ask God for His. After all, it was His money set aside, His money sent to Dallas, His money siphoned off and squandered for purposes other than what they were intended. In other words, while there has been a breach of trust with Baptists of the BGCT, there has been a great breach of trust between the BGCT and God. Woops! That is the worm in the apple.

There are two different but similar approaches that Nehemiah and Josiah took.

Nehemiah repaired then called the people together for a festival of the Word of God. Why did he do this when so much time had already been lost? Perhaps it is that Nehemiah learned by spiritual instinct what we come to see later articulated in the Word of God. Ephesians 5:26 uses the analogy of "cleansing her (the Bride of Christ--the church)by the the washing with water through the word. . ." So Nehemiah calls the people together for a festival of the Word of God. From daybreak until noon Scripture tells us that Ezra and the priests read the Law and the people cried. Why did they cry? Because they were inwardly being washed by the Word. Guilt and rebellion and sins of every description were being washed away in the flood that only comes from the Water of the Word. When a nation or convention betrays the Lord, by misusing His money, betraying His trust, disregarding His Word, and basically betraying their spiritual charter, the only way back is for God to wash us clean through the Word of God.

But Josiah had another approach, similar but different. Josiah called the leaders of the nation together (II Kings 23) and renewed the covenant with God. It was a moving time of confession and repentance that signaled his intention to lead the people rightly.

So, in my previous post, I stand by what I said, but first, we have to deal with God. We all have to deal with God. Every leader for the past eight years collectively has to move through a time of renewal and repentance.

After all, it was all His, and remains so; misused as it was.

The BGCT and the world of Tomorrow

Although an obscure blog, the invitation to receive any information about outstanding fiscal improprieties has not been taken. So, I will move on. But how shall we trust a convention that has so blatantly betrayed the trust of the people it was created to serve and channel important gifts to entities congregations and pastors support?

For pastors and churches, I would say, "Go slowly and cautiously!" The problem with corruption and incompetence is that it takes root quickly and is rooted out slowly. I have no doubt the BGCT has some distance to go before it is completely trustworthy again. Years of fiscal responsibility have been wrecked by a "Middle Ages" of dark misuse of God's money. Slowly proceed, and slowly trust.

For the administrative employees of the BGCT, this fiasco is not of your making but you knew about it when you came to the position. No whining about mistrust! What the churches and pastors of Texas have experienced is a supreme betrayal by the least likely entity--their own convention. There are those of us who risked much to keep Texas from the grip of fundamentalism. It was a joint effort. Now those who were trusted and elected and paid to served betrayed the leadership of churches and the churches themselves. If you do your job well, live transparently, tirelessly work at building relationships damaged or destroyed by the last administration, then you will see fruit. I am afraid I remain skeptical of the new emphasis because I don't think there has been repentance.

I believe the leadership(paid and elected)should release an apology that runs something like this: "We recognize that we have all come through a difficult time that has brought division within the camp. We also recognize that some of that division was our fault for allowing monies entrusted to us to be diverted and perverted for other causes. We stand before you to ask your forgiveness. We stand before you to pledge that on our watch such things will not happen again. As much as is humanly possible, we will vigilantly guard each gift as a sacred trust and it will go where it was intended for the purposes for which it was intended. With your forgiveness, we will move forward. With your forgiveness, we will do our part to rebuild trust and unity. With your forgiveness, we will pray together to ask God to once again bless our efforts and endeavors."

To the elected leadership and the Executive Board, I would say, "Lead and govern!!" It is sad that you were elected to govern during an administration that could not be trusted, but you were elected and you accepted. So, on your watch, you allowed corruption and perhaps even graft and surely incompetence to continue unabated. That is not good enough. You are the ones that carry fiduciary responsibility for all the monies entrusted to the BGCT. You must make the paid staff account for every penny. And, no excuses. Be deliberate and skeptical and meticulous of everything until this administration has shown themselves worthy of trust and confidence. Let your guide be transparency. Let no question be unanswered or squelched. You are elected to govern, then govern!!"

To Texas Baptist Committed, I would say that your inaction because of your wide influence has cost Texas Baptists millions. You knew early on a bad choice had been made and yet TBC Board continued to prop up a mediocre (at best) regime. All the time they were burning though money faster than a contractor in Iraq. The only problem was this was not tax dollars, this was God's money. You allowed an administration to lie to pastors, to churches, to elected leadership, to its own employees, to its Executive Board, and I guess ultimately to God. You cannot escape some of the responsibility for what happened during the Dark ages of this convention. You must decide that incompetence and corruption are as large an influence for evil as is fundamentalism. So, if we are going to move forward, TBC needs to regain some trust throughout the state that has been lost through inaction and cronyism.

If I sound harsh, it is because I have watched a convention that started my ministry become something I neither recognized, trusted, or looked at with pride. All my pleas and all my efforts to get answers were rebuffed, redirected, or passed off as just an old sore head. Now, we are about $30,000,000.00 down and counting. This was God's money and at this point we have no idea where $27,000,000.00 went.

I have a single, pensioned, childless widow in our church who walked with pain and a cane. She is faithful in Sunday School and church. She lives in a modest home yet is always faithful to give. When I think of how she struggles to live during these days, I am furious at how our gifts and tithes to God were wasted.

So, Dr. Everett, you want to reach Texas for Christ by 2010? You would be wise to have us all with you because we trust you and our churches trust you. For me, I am not there yet!

So, from one Texas Baptist, that is the shape of the BGCT and world of today. What is done now, for me, will shape my relationship with the BGCT and the world of tomorrow

The BGCT and its Phobia of Fundamentalism

When one survives the big "C" as some of us have done, there is often an interesting reaction that plays out in some folks. Some get hyper-vigilant and afraid. Every change in their body, every change in their fluids, every change, may mean a return of the dreaded disease. So, they worry, they fret, and they may worry their physicians.

Other folks look on survival as the end of a successful war campaign. The battle is over, they have won, now on to other things. They ignore signs and new symptoms, they miss their checkups, they get on with their lives often with tragic results. The cancer rebounds with a vengeance.

So, which is the BGCT? The title would seem to indicate the former while my experience says that some are very much the latter.

I believe the BGCT does have a phobia about fundamentalism. It is fueled in some measure by Texas Baptist Committed that despite all its talk of "free and faithful Baptists," I have found at points we are neither "free" nor "faithful." In order to protect the right to be different, we have to curtail the rights of some who are different. That may not make sense, but look at our whole world-wide discussion of immigration issues. Countries are becoming less free in order to protect the freedoms of those whose liberty is "being" threatened.

So, "free and faithful" has a look about it. If you are an "inerrantist"(my word processing dictionary tells me I cannot even spell the word) you are suspect. If you hold strong views of creation vs. evolution weighing down on the anti-evolution side, you are suspect. In fact, if you don't fall within a preset narrow range of views, you may be a fundamentalist. Following the dictum: "if it walks like a duck, smells like a duck. . ." And after all, it is better to be safe than sorry. So, we cut them off and tell them they have a convention go there. It reminds me of a Hispanic man who came to see me in my former church. He began the conversation with, "You don't know how hard it is for me to walk into this church." I asked why. He said, "I got saved and just wanted to worship the Lord so I went to the biggest Baptist church in town thinking I could worship there. They told me, "You have a church across town, go there!"

Such is the phobia of the BGCT. The memory of the wars, the battles, the tensions, the pressures, all haunt some of us older folks, and we had rather have less, than return to those days. The only problem is that we really don't have a lot to talk about or discuss if we all hold the same views. Perhaps that is the one thing the last administration figured out. We had become so homogeneous we could sweep away everyone but a disoriented Executive Board who hadn't learn to watch for the slight of hands about everything.

But, then there are others who believe the battle is over. The only problem is that SWBTS is turning out far more graduates( or disciples) if you please than the BGCT. And I am sorry to say, some of these graduates share a common trait. They are so convinced that doctrinal purity is foremost in the heart of God, they will lie to achieve their ends. Now, I kind of think a lying pastor, or youth minister can undercut one's ministry, but apparently, fundamentalism does not. It is the cause, not the methods that matter.

I believe there is a way to move forward without fear, without letting our guard down, and frankly without demeaning "tokenism." If (as is often said) fundamentalism is more a state of mind and a way of looking at the world, why do we continue to punish those whose opinions and loyalties vary from our own. Right now, at this very moment, even as I write, I correspond and help IMB missionaries who look to me for spiritual counsel and psychological counsel. I also volunteer my time with CBF to be one of their Member Care team(as does my wife) providing free counseling and support services for CBF missionaries overseas. We love our work and God continues to send us opportunities.

Isn't the Baptist Way, the way of furious discussion, open debate, consensus and compromise? Then why are we not sifting for that instead of checking personal views. With over 3,000 churches in 3,000 different situations, it is about time we started talking to each other about the issues that face our churches and building alliances to address those problems and issues. Frankly, I don't care if the Baptist pastor down the street is an inerrantist(he is) what I care about is that he loves Jesus, tries to support the Texas Cooperative Program, and has a heart for the neighborhood that is beating us all.

I don't go to meeting much and it is not the high price of gas. We all look alike, talk alike, and really have nothing to say to each other unless we talk about our families and what is going on with them. How very, very foolish to have it come to this.

One final note which I am sure I will live to regret. If you have solid, information about more financial maleficence in the BGCT, you are free to forward it on to me. No rumors, no punitive agendas. Solid facts and information. Why would I do this? For 34 years, I have pastored churches and done my part in the BGCT. I cannot add up how much money has gone from the churches I have served through and to the BGCT. If my folk's dollars have been more misused than already exposed, I want to know about it. I also don't ever want this to be repeated.

The way forward for the BGCT Part II

When couples present themselves for counseling where love is present but trust and respect are gone, we have both education and real work ahead. We also start with a fundamental rule, "No whining!"

For the person (or Convention leadership) who has lost the trust of the other, the person or convention needs to understand that everything for the past few years has been a lie. Everything! If we are talking about an affair, then there are several things at work. There is the affair itself,(which is a breach of love, trust, and respect) the covering up of the affair, and all the dishonesty associated with the infidelity. That must be understood or the person cannot understand the skepticism of the spouse. If the last few years have been tissues of lies, then just saying, "I am telling the truth now, there is no one else!" Well, they have heard that before, haven't they?

In an institutional structure like the BGCT, dishonesty and disrespect can take root quickly and be difficult to root out. Trust and respect may also be difficult and slow to return. What does not work is blaming the person who is skeptical of the responses they hear. After all, their skepticism was well justified previously and the responses were the same.

So what does it take to move forward? I would suggest several things. First, I think it is essential for elected and paid leadership to acknowledge the sins of the past. Funny thing, this business of repentance and forgiveness. We want it to be localized and personalized. We get very uncomfortable when leadership must stand and say, "The BGCT has been reckless and dishonest about your giving dollars in the past few years. As elected leaders who functioned during that time and function now, we are grieved in any part we have had in this breach of trust and we pledge to not allow this to happen again. We are deeply repentant and grieved about any part we have played in the betrayal of trust and respect."

Second, elected and employed leadership must act and speak with candor and transparency. No more evasions! No more referrals to someone else who is going to pass us on to someone else. No more lies. No more misinformation or partial information. More than that, this group must be out in front of anything that is bad news, discouraging news, or embarrassing news. We need to hear it from elected and paid leadership FIRST.

Finally, rebuilding trust and respect takes time. The leader (paid or elected) that wants a transformation of environment overnight is at the wrong place at the wrong time. Trust and respect are stolen in a moment but rebuilt over the years.

So, what is the way forward? Candor, transparency, patience, and always the truth. Always the truth!

The way forward for the BGCT

Significant relationships rest of three vital ingredients: love of some kind; trust; and respect. When one understands that, one can understand a person in a couple saying, "l love him/her, but I no longer trust/respect him/her." It also helps one understand why divorce can be so heartrending. The divorce happens not because love has died, but because respect or trust has died.

Having said that, I believe that is where many folks find themselves with the BGCT and why just saying, "Everything is better now, lets move on," won't work. I love the BGCT. It was the convention of my birth and growing up years. It was the convention whose school I attended that was so life changing for me (Howard Payne University), it was its fraternal relationship with SWBTS that pointed me to my ministerial education, it was another institution that allowed me to gain my second graduate degree (Hardin-Simmons University). I have been honored to serve when asked in the BGCT and at Howard Payne as a trustee. However, I no longer trust or respect the elected or hired leadership of the BGCT.

I know those are strong words, but look at where we are. Look at who has taken us there and who has looked the other way and given assurances that everything was alright. Look at who has pressured, cajoled, and inferred that if one did not quit asking questions and get on board they could/would be left off the train. Look and think. Think about those who give lip service to "free and faithful" Baptists then stifle discussion at the State Convention or in the Executive Board. Think about how such freedom has been suppressed when the wrong questions were asked and were not answered to anyone's real satisfaction.

Now, here is where we are. We have a new administration. I am sure Dr. Everett is a nice guy, but I have been down this loop before. At some level, in Christian circles, everyone has some niceness in them. And in our convention, it is given every leader is a Christian. But like the alcoholic or the serial philanderer not everyone is worthy of our respect and our trust.

The sad thing is that elected leadership has fouled their own back yard. Their refusal to do their work has left some of us not trusting anyone or anything that is said. In one e-mail exchange before the convention, I had an officer tell me what a fine job he had done during his year in office. He was either delusional or worse. That has been the measure of recent elected leadership. Paid leadership has taken the money, the silver, all the time doing a slight of hands that was worthy of any magician.

So, how does one rebuild trust and respect when it has been lost? I will speak to that in my next blog.

Oursourced Caring

Our state convention in its latest rounds of cost-cutting measures has finally killed what once was a rather robust ministry to ministers. The reason the cost-cutting is necessary is because people are not giving to the state convention because (I think) they no longer trust the state convention. The "Trust Me" routine can only go so far and go on for so long and then people start asking the question, "Why does he keep saying that?" The obvious answer is that he is untrustworthy. And so giving is down. The idea of just looking to the future is not working real well either. People want to know a little bit more about the past before they can get excited about the future.
Once upon a time, the BGCT(Baptist General Convention of Texas) had a sensible and compassionate way of dealing with troubled or terminated ministers. For troubled ministers they offered to pay for their counseling. For terminated ministry families, they helped them find a safe place to go and often rented a U-Haul for them to get there. That was then.

Now, we are going to outsource our caring. However, caring for ministry families in the BGCT had come close to feeling like neglect these last eight years. There was less and less money for counseling. Some counseling money was diverted to prop up a new counseling center at the church of the former Executive Director. Terminated ministers were no longer helped but told to negotiate a severance agreement--which shows how many in the Building had been a terminated minister. When one is terminated, one rarely is in a position to negotiate anything (If you don't give me a severance agreement, I will camp out in my office, go on a hunger strike, not change my socks , and scream all the church's secrets out the window until you promise to feed my family for three months!!)

I am not sure where the money went, but I know where it did not go. For some reason, some folks in the Baptist Building hated the idea of helping troubled ministers and their families. Sure, some of the ministers were incompetent and sure they could have qualified to be our last Executive Director, but that is no reason to turn away from the family in their hour of need.

Well, the money has run out, the pink slips are in the bins, and what is left of a once robust convention is gone. Just remember what the Building told our ministers at this very time, "Be warmed and filled!"

The $27,000,000. question

The Baptist General Convention of Texas (my state convention of affiliation) has been in turmoil for the last eight years. There seem to be two reasons for this: incompetent leadership and an organization that continued to prop up the incompetent leadership.

The organization that has propped up the incompetent leadership grew out of the onslaught of fundamentalism that began to take over state conventions after they have taken over the national Southern Baptist Convention. However, the problem is that in the words of Martin Luther King Jr. the organization has "become the beast in order to defeat the beast." They stifle dissent, they threaten, promise to destroy and ostracize those that disagree with them. They raise doubts about their motives and finally, when all else has failed, they outmaneuver them while talking about the need to have a free and open discussion which they will not permit.

I am credentialed to counsel in Texas and my group of choice is couples. Many times when couples come to see me, there has been infidelity in the marriage. The unfaithful one always has the same position,"Let's forget about the past and forgive and go on!" The faithful one just looks in bewilderment. And his/her question is valid. "How do I know what I am forgetting and forgiving unless I know what has happened?" I have noted the failure to confess is often the unwillingness to repent.

So here we are in the life of my cherished convention: the powers that be want us to look to the future, forget the past, and forgive whatever was done (always) with the best of intentions.
Some of us cynics want to know what we are being asked to forgive and forget. I am not positive, but it begins with $27,000,000. that is not there anymore.