Packing My Bags Yet Again

Yesterday, I was speaking to my oldest youngest son about our upcoming trip to Taiwan to meet the future in-laws. It seems it is customary to take lots and lots of gifts to the family and in turn they will spend boat loads of money hosting us. Don't you just love cultures? They offer a thousand different ways to look the fool, in languages you don't understand so they can talk about what a buffoon you are to your face all the while smiling like they like you.

If this sounds like personal experience, it is. It is not by choice that I have found myself the world traveler that I have come to be. In fact, my international traveling is proof positive that God has a great sense of humor--kind of like when you look at a giraffe.

I have no language skills, my luggage is uncontrollable, and I have been known to get lost in my own neighborhood. So, doesn't that sound like the makings of a world traveler? I am not a dietary adventurer, and prefer to eat only what I can recognize and what does not offend the nose. My nose goes with me everywhere and is easily offended by smell, and my mouth by texture. When out with English speaking folks in other cultures, I have learned the direct approach is best. "Go on Mike (Dad) try it, it won't hurt you." To which I have learned to say, "If you want to see me throw up all over this table, push that one inch closer!" The results are amazing.

I remember being in Lejuine, China, around an electric hotplate for "hotpot." I came to refer to it as "death in the pot." It seems the local custom is one gathers with one's friends around this hotplate with a boiling chicken broth in a cast iron pot. Then with menus in hand,members of the group decide what one wants in the pot. There are luscious things like rooster combs, chicken feet, and tree fungus. Being the simple man that I am, I vetoed the feet and combs, but stuck with the tree fungus. I noticed that a part of the ritual was alcohol for everyone in generous portions. There have been few times that I have envied the drinker, but I suspected that this was a dish that went better with being swashing drunk. It also helped if you had to go to the bathroom, which was a squattie. For you unfamiliar with such devices, they are quite simple. There is a hole in the ground that you have a variety of opportunities to hit. Most don't. So, going to the bathroom is really a great appetizer for an unappetizing supper. It will take your appetite away. Problem solved at both ends.

So, this week I go shopping for gifts to pack in my luggage which will magically disappear once it leaves my hands. If we are lucky, our luggage will show up some time during our stay in Taiwan. If not, all the gifts are mine--which is a great incentive to shop wisely.