Ministers are people too

There are several reasons why the recent action of the "new BGCT" distress me.

As poorly as it was being done, the couple who were charged with Minister's counseling were doing the best they could. One could ask the question, "Why do ministers need special counselors?"

That would be a good question. Apparently one the Baptist Building has failed to ask. There are several reasons.

First, ministers are reluctant to seek counseling for themselves or their families. I have spent 34 years in ministry shoulder to shoulder with great men who were faithful to their calling, but struggling with their family, their calling, their own personal demons. Yet, to consider counseling usually brought the same response, "What if my folks found out?" That is part of the reluctance.

It is not all. Since most of our ministers in Baptist life are men, men in and of themselves are resistant to seeing a counselor. They are going to have to talk about their feelings--and what self respecting man is going to do that. Yet, that is why some of the clergy are clinically depressed, because they feel and have no healthy outlet to express those feelings.

The glass house phenomenon is true. The minister's family lives on a stage for all the world to see and comment on. So, the idea that a troubled family could seek private counseling is almost unimaginable.

Ministry is also very isolating. There are few professions in which choosing the wrong friend can cost you your job. This is true for the spouse as well. I have seen more than one ministry couple whose ministry was deeply damaged by a confidence broken.

Finally, ministry is one of the few jobs in the world where family problems and perhaps divorce can end careers or cause a job to be lost. In the counseling world, many therapists are divorced and they write it off as understanding what their clients are going through. Lawyers are never chosen based on how many spouses they have had. One does not choose doctors by that criteria. But in Baptist life, the troubled marriage or home could be a death sentence.

So what does this have to do with ministers seeking counseling through the BGCT which is no longer available? Simply this: if the counselor himself or herself does not understand the inner workings of the church, they can give bad counsel which will cost the ministry family their job. One Christian psychiatrist tells of his early days of counseling a minister. He advised him to share his struggle with his board. He did and was promptly fired. He returned to the psychiatrist where both sat shell shocked. Sadly, I was not.

Ministers are meant to help people with problems, they are not supposed to be people with problems--which you might be able to see could be a problem!

Fortunately, our "new" BGCT understands this and asked the counselors to leave a referral list on the desk as they vacate their offices.